Triple Threat Chocolate Cake and the Bachelor

Alright, alright!  Since SO many of you were demanding my recipe (ok, just one person) I thought I would post it on here to share!

This is by far the most simple, sinful, delicious cake you will bake.  Preferably for a trashy TV night...like Bachelor/Bachelorette!

First, a short back story.  In college, my 6 roommates and I would watch TV together and on a particularly bad/hard/lazy/trashy tv day, I would bake this cake for us and we would slowly devour shovel it down our throats.  What?! We're still ladies.  We just know what we like!

Ok, back to the Bachelor this season.  A few thoughts:

1) Love Ben.  He's fun, cute, smart, has a personality and "is available."
Anyone catch last night how that oh-so-humble model kept talking about his hair and touching it (while touching hers) like, in a fetish type way?  And remember when she made that really intelligent comment about last season when he said "I'm available."  Oh boy, it's just too good already!

2) Anyone else want to give Jenna a high five....in the face? 
WHAT A BABYYYYYYY! Why didn't her parents ever tell her to knock that behavior off?  The fact that she's a blogger and writes about "why do boys hate me?" "Why doesn't anyone want to date me?" is the reason why I didn't want to start a blog in the first place.  Too much whining and self pity in the blogosphere.  No one wants to hear that, Jenna!

Oh, and one more comment (amongst many I will not share), did you see the way she entered the room before the rose ceremony?  All puppy dog like?  PUH LEEZE!  Knock that crap off!  You are a woman, not a 3 year old child!  But, you sure do crave attention in the most inappropriate ways like a 3 year old would!

3) A note to Ben: Good luck warding off all the crazies.  I'll be rooting for you on the sidelines at the rose ceremonies, regardless of the producers choices for you.


And now, to more important things...like Triple Threat Chocolate Cake.

Here is my oh-so-simple recipe and directions.  I'll be waiting on the other side to hear you say, "That's it?!"


TRIPLE THREAT CHOCOLATE CAKE


Ingredients:
1 box Devil's Food chocolate cake.  It HAS to be the one with a cup of pudding in the mix.  This is a deal maker and breaker, people!

1 tub of chocolate fudge frosting

1 bag mini chocolate chips

Directions:
Follow the directions on the box for mixing and baking the cake.  I typically use a bundt pan to bake it.

Allow the cake to cool completely, if not almost completely.   This is important for the frosting.

Transfer the cake to a serving dish and use the entire tub of frosting to frost the cake.  Yeah, I said it.

When the cake is completely covered with frosting, sprinkle the mini chocolate chips on top and on the sides.  Even on the little hole on the inside of the bundt.

Enjoy with a cold glass of milk!


Bonus: If you want to make it "fancy" try adding Heath bar bits, peanut butter chips or butterscotch chips.  Heck, crush up a butter finger bar and sprinkle that sucker all over!  You're the boss-act like it!


Until next week, I urge you to eat a healthy amount of chocolate cake.....and stay sane, people!


xo,
Nat

"Biscot"

Around this time of year [Christmas] my family anxiously awaits the most glorious package from Pittsburgh, PA....a package of my Grandma Venneri's fresh baked cookies!  Pizelles, almond cookies, chocolate cookies, snowballs, biscotti, chocolate covered pretzels....the list goes on and on.  Seriously, the best package EVER-second to the package she sends at Easter...don't even get me started!

 Isn't she just the cutest lil' grandma you ever did see?

Here are the cookies she baked for our wedding.  Love!

The past few years, we haven't had a package from Grandma since it's been harder and harder for her to crank out dozens of different types of cookies for all of her five kids and their families.  So, she has passed the recipe along to us kids and grandkids and we have made them for ourselves.  Obviously, they taste quite similar, but lack the extra love (and crisco) that Grandma Venneri adds to her cookies : )

When Ryan and I headed north to King City this Christmas, we made a pit stop in SLO for some Black Horse coffee and a snack to fuel us the rest of the way.  Little did I know that our innocent little pit stop would awaken a slumbering beast inside of me!

We bought a "Carmello" (delicious espresso mixed with caramel and a little milk) and a biscotti as big as your arm.  Seriously, I was in awe of how they baked one that big.

Let me just pause and say:

I          LOVE          BISCOTTI!

Besides Grandma Venneri's "biscot" (biscotti), I have never tasted any biscotti as good as the one at Black Horse.

So, of course on the rest of our drive up to King City I googled the crap out of their biscotti, searching relentlessly for their recipe so I could make it myself and take a bath in biscotti cookies every morning....ok, maybe not that extreme, but I definitely put my researching skills to the test!

And, to my disappointment, the biscotti recipe is nowhere to be found.  It comes from a hipster bakery, OF COURSE!  Hipster recipes don't exist outside of the shop...unless they're on Pinterest.

So, even though Ryan and I are ready to fast from bread, carbs and anything that has grease on it so we can lose the Christmas lb's, I am baking my grandma's biscotti recipe and enjoying it with a piping hot cup of coffee....because I said so!

Want the family recipe?  Sorry, can't share it! : )  However, I will share the two recipes I mashed together from allrecipes.com.

The original recipe, another recipe I used


ALMOND ANISETTE BISCOTTI

Ingredients:

12 ounces butter (room temperature)
1 3/4 c white sugar
6 eggs
2 tsp anise extract
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
6 1/2 c all-purpose flower
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder
1 c chopped almonds

Directions:
1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees F

2.  In a large bowl, mix cream butter and sugar.  Add eggs, one at a time; beat until fluffy.  Stir in the anise and vanilla extracts.

3.  In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking powder and salt.  Add them to the egg mixture along with the chopped almonds.  (you might need to switch to a dough hook on your mixer halfway through)

4.  Divide the dough into two parts (or 4, if you want smaller cookies)  Roll the pieces into logs about 15 inches log.  If you have parchment paper, line your cookie sheet with parchment paper.  Flatten the logs out until they are about 3 inches wide with a slight hump going down the middle.

5.  Bake for 30 minutes.  Loaves should come out firm.

6.  Cut the loaves into diagonal slices, about 1/2 inch wide each.  Place the slices on their sides back on to the cookie sheets.  Toast each side for 5-8 minutes each, depending on how crunchy or soft you want them to be.

Careful!  You might discover your dough is soft in the middle and not completely cooked if you only do 2 loaves.  That happened to me my first time!  So, just toast them a little longer on each side and it will cook through while toasting the rest of the cookie.

7. Enjoy with a cup of your favorite coffee, tea or milk!

Cheers!,
Nat

8 things women should never do at the gym...

As the new year approaches and I think about the weight I have gained from my "Christmas Culinary Adventures," I started to think of all the people I would have to start dodging at the gym due to "New Years Resolutions."  


In light of the upcoming crowds I will be dodging, here is a list I put together of the things that I see and annoy me most at the gym...of course, this is meant to be mostly funny with a twinge (or two) of truth.  My apologies if this offends you...


8 things women should never do at the gym:

8)  Bend over in front of the pervs in the weight area.  All you'll do for yourself is attract this guy...

7)Wear only a sports bra and bottoms.  90% of the women who do this have no business doing it in the first place!  However, I will say...if you've worked hard and have the body for it, more power to you!

6) Make weird grunting noises while lifting weights.  If you should choose to go after it on the weights, find a way to breath lady-like…i's already weird enough when men grunt loudly while lifting heavy weights.

5) DO NOT! I repeat, DO NOT wear jeans, jean shorts, kahkis or converse to work out in.  Running shorts, basketball shorts or spandex are a better option.  Until you're in the shape you want to be in, they will at least help you look more athletic. You could always just print this handy dandy pocket guide if you ever question if what you're wearing is "gym-appropriate."

4) Not wearing your hair in a ponytail.  Really?  This isn’t Baywatch, and it's definitely not a slow motion scene for a romantic movie….so where is your hair tie and why is it not in your hair keeping it out of your face?

3) A freshly painted make up face.  Yep,  you know who you are.  You're that girl who  puts eyeliner, foundation, eye shadow and uses about a can of hairspray on their hairdo before stepping foot in the gym. Save yourself time, money and effort...you're gonna sweat it off anyways!

2)Your boobs are not a place for your electronics to be stored.  Period.  Invest in an arm band.

1) and last but definitely not least…TALKING ON THE PHONE WHILE WORKING OUT! Are you kidding me?  I especially dislike getting calls from friends when they are at the gym.  If I wanted to talk to you during this time, I would be there with you. I love you dearly, but I prefer not to hear your pants and grunts on the other side of the phone.  Please don't be offended if I find a reason to get off the phone at that moment.

With that being said...HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!  Here's to making resolutions and being smart about it!


xo,
nat

Strawberry Scones, brought to you by Miss.E.lliot

Part of my Fall tradition on cold or overcast days is going to Starbucks and ordering a Pumpkin Spice Latte and scone.  Either a pumpkin scone (don't judge me!) or a Maple Oat Scone.  Either way, it's a win - you should try it sometime.

So, yesterday I was looking through our refrigerator and realizing some of our food was going to go to waste.  Like that giant flat of strawberries from Costco we thought we were going to eat...right.  I found a strawberry scone recipe since I've had an itch to make scones lately.  You can follow this one or you can follow mine for a more yummy version : )

First, you need to put your Pandora station on.  I personally prefer my Missy Elliot station.  It's the biznaz.

Gather these ingredients, turn the oven on 425 and shake your tailfeather.

• 1 cup ripe strawberries
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup light cream
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup white sugar
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1 1/2 teaspoons lemon zest
• 6 tablespoons cold unsalted butter
• 
  

Don't forget to line your baking sheet with parchment paper.  Which, by the way, is NOT the same as freezer paper.  Apparently you should NEVER use freezer or wax paper in the oven.  You're welcome for that little nugget of knowledge ;)

According to the recipe, you're supposed to hull the strawberries and slice them in half.  First of all, who has time for that?  Second of all, who cares?  Third of all, if you're trying to use your strawberries before they go bad, add an extra strawberry or two for the "missed" pieces you cut off the top.

I used about 12 ripe strawberries.  Definitely ended up being more than what is called for.  But in this case, more if better!

Dice the strawberries and spread out on a paper towel to get rid of the moisture.  Set aside.

Next, combine your vanilla and cream in a small bowl and set aside.  I used buttermilk with this one instead of light cream.

 I recommend leaving the mixture in the fridge until you need it. 

Mix your dry ingredients and the lemon zest together in a separate bowl.  I used 1 1/2 cup flour, 1 cup old fashioned oats instead of the 2 cups flour the recipe calls for.  Also, for the lemon zest, I "zested" more than I needed, so I used heaping teaspoons when measuring.  And then I put a pinch in for extra zestiness. Zester.  Zestina. Zest-a-roonie. Zestapotomus.  Zest.  

There, it's out of my system.

 One last note on the dry ingredients: if you can, buy some fresh nutmeg and grind it yourself, do it!  It makes a world of difference when you're cooking/baking and the flavor really pops.

Take your cold butter and cut it into little pieces.  Toss into the mixture and mix it, crushing the butter until its evenly distributed and looks like pea-sized pieces in your dough.  (See the notes from the recipe if you need more guidance)

Next, gently mix the diced strawberries into the dry mixture.  With your finger, make a hole in the middle of your dry mix and pour the cream/vanilla mixture in.  

 Stir immediately until the mixture is fully combined.  Don't get too exited and mix it like crazy though!  Let the mixture sit for 2 minutes.

 CAUTION:  Try to resist eating the mixture raw!  It looks like REALLY good oatmeal that your Grandma or The Filing Station would make.  Super yum.

The recipe calls for you to knead the dough.  I tried it and it was a hot mess.  Save yourself the sticky hands and don't even try it.  Just scoop the mixture onto your parchment paper and leave it to bake.

If you really want to, you can use your spatula to make triangle shapes "just like starbucks" as my husband said.

Bake for 16-18 minutes.  I baked them for 18 minutes and made sure to peek at them at the 16 minute mark.  You want them to be a golden brown, not like a chocolate brown : )

Mine could have baked for a little longer since I added extra strawberries and there is a lot of butter, but I like scones on the moist/soft side, so I took them out at 18 minutes.

Parting thought(s):

If I had to serve these at my breakfast table, I would invite the following people:
Shauna Niequist (I'm obsessed with her writing and love her outlook on life, as well as her widsom), Kristen Punt, Teagan Greenwood, The Hubs, Kelsey Erickson (because we're opening a bakery up together someday), Missy Elliot (for live performances, and to thank her for my inspiration and motivation), Pioneer Woman (to try to impress her with my baking skills, plus I have a cooking/baking crush on her), Kate-The Dutchess herself (because British people love "tea and scrumpets" as snoop dog would say...but we're getting way off track here.)

Ok, just one more table assignment.  Dinner: 
Kristen Wiig & Tina Fey, Erika Abdelatif (we're going on tour to host comedic Bingo games), Traci Carpenter, Caroline Rutenbar (funny to the MAXX), Delia Baltierra (no one has a bigger funny bone in as small of a body as she does), Kira Williams (because her laugh is hysterical and she laughs at almost the same stuff as me...and laughs as hard as me) and Donna Wells.  Basically, all the funniest women I currently know.  With the exception of Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig.  Oh, what I would give to be BFFFAD (best friends forever and a day) with them!

Enjoy your scones, and enjoy Missy Elliot's weirdly wonderful music videos as much as I do! 

If You Don't Know, Now You Know: Mrs. Lisk, First Grade Teacher

That's right!  Its official...as of August 15th, you can officially refer to me as, "Mrs. Lisk, First Grade Teacher!"

Now that I have a cool, fancy, shorter, more Irish last name, I thought I would get a teaching job to go along with it!

AND, now my students don't have to struggle with trying to pronounce Venneri and say cute things like "Miss Vanilla" and "Miss Vuh...Vuh...Vehh...ummmm....how do you say it?"  Ah, the days of student teaching :)

A [kind of] short back story to how I got to this point:

I graduated from Biola University (B-IO-LA!) in Elementary Ed and got my credential right after.  I was a little burnt out and hated seeing old, bitter teachers who yelled all the time at their students.  I didn't want to be that...at all!  

You know, like Viola Swamp in Miss Nelson is Missing?! 

(That's teacher humor for you, in case you didn't know)

PS.  A real life Viola Swamp? Creeptastic!

Anyway, I didn't want to be burnt out and grouchy and lame.  The kids know you dont want to be there, you know you don't want to be there and both parties end up losing.  Unfortunately, the kids are the ones who lose out the most!

So, fresh out of my credentialing program amidst a sea of teaching applications and an awful economy to search for a teaching job, I was offered to work for the corporate office of a restaurant. 2 1/2 years later, I felt God gently leading me back toward teaching but I was too afraid to make the leap fully.  So, I quit my job and took 3 different temporary jobs at ROCKHARBOR (one after another) and felt God continuing to nudge me toward teaching.  This time, it was practically smacking me in the face!  

Ryan had an awesome contact and I sent my resume to her thinking there wouldn't be much that came of it since teaching jobs were hard to come by in this economy...especially with no classroom experience and being 3 years removed from my credentialling program.

But then, I got a nibble.  The Monday before my wedding, I went in for a "getting to know you" meeting/interview with a school staff.  Amongst the interview committee; the head pastor of the church, the principal, the preschool director, the second grade teacher and a mom who's child was going to be a 1st grader in the fall.  When I left, I thought nothing much would come of it and was thankful for the opportunity to have experience interviewing.

Wednesday before my wedding (on Sunday) I got a call...they offered me the job!  I was honestly shocked and very flattered.  Needless to say, I got married, went on a little 2 day get away after my wedding and had some time to think and pray about it.  I had some interesting conversations and really thought I wasn't going to take the job until I met with the principal.  I literally went in his office thinking, "I'll ask him some questions for a better understanding, but I think I'm going to say no."  When I came out of his office, the posture of my heart had changed.

I honestly think God changed my heart, opened my eyes to ministry and teaching opportunity that I hadn't seen before and made me excited to think of the possibility this job offered.

All that to say, I accepted the job and couldn't be more thrilled about it!

A week passed and I was preparing to go on my honeymoon the following week.  I had an opportunity to meet my class and their parents at their last chapel of the 2010-2011 school year.  So fun!  I will be teaching a class of 11 boys and 3 girls (so far).  Sounds like a blast to me!  Even just the class size alone is a miracle, compared to most public schools right now with 20-30 kids per class!

There is so much to be thankful for.  But today, my heart leaps with joy and thankfulness that the Lord would provide a way for me to use my passion and gifting in the way He created me to.

In true Families Ministry Staff form, it feels only fitting to sing:

Praise God from whom all blessings flow

Praise Him all creatures here below

Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost

AMEN!