The Royal Wedding

In case you've been living in a hole lately, I'm here to inform you that the Royal Wedding happened.

Yep, it just happened.

I finally got to watch it yesterday with my friend Casey and her hilarious family.  The commentary was hilarious, the enjoyment of fashion was awesome and I left feeling convinced that I needed to email and text every woman attending my wedding a memo letting them know fashionable hats are mandatory.  (If you're reading this now and you're attending, please do not hold back on wearing a fabulous, fashionable hat that will make me want to trade my veil for your piece of hair art!)

If I wasn't getting married, I would attend a wedding wearing this one.  Love!

What I couldn't help but notice about the wedding is that there was so much hype and build up (obviously) but then the moment came and went.  Each moment: Kate getting into her car, her drive to the Abby, Kate's 4 minute walking down the aisle with her dad (dragging her 50 lbs dress-poor girl!)...every moment passed so quickly.  

Ok, but can we pause for a second and recognize that my favorite moments of TRW (the royal wedding) were the ones where Kate and William smirked at each other?!  So cute!  Amidst the tradition and stuffiness of their wedding, they still found themselves and still connected with each other.  Super presh.

All that to say, in watching TRW, I couldn't help but think about how our wedding will play out.  

All of the planning and build up to this day makes me wish it came with a remote control so I could push the slow motion button and savor every moment.  Like, when Ryan and I have our first look, or when my dad walks me down the aisle, or when Ryan and I go around greeting guests who have traveled far and wide to come celebrate us on our big day.  I want to remember all of that!

OF COURSE I know I will!  I'll have my precious memories that I hold dear in my heart and visuals that play on repeat as I look back.

Plus, I have an awesome photographer Bethany Belle!  Check her out here if you haven't already, and drool over her photojournalistic skills and awesomeness.  

I'll also have a video to watch on the days that I want to reminisce of our special day.  Praise Jesus!  

Because with a video, there is a remote...and I can rewind, fast forward and slow motion all I want!

23 days

Beauty Begets Beauty

This is about the third time I have watched this video.  


And by "watched" I mean: connected, understood, listened, learned.


Gosh, it is so good!


It gives me an artist's understanding of God and His creativity, life process and speaks to my creative artistic side...


a side that I have been ignoring for quite a while now.  My "familiar friend" as they would call it.


A friend that I have been ignoring because of busy times, life change and the nature of how I live out my days.  When I create, when I tap into that artistic side of myself...I connect with God.  I learn more about Him, I sit with him in my mess...my process.  My creation is my expression of the vision and passion He has given me.


If you watch, listen to the intricacy of how this creator "creates."


This is how intentional my God is with me.  His work is beautiful, passionate. Each color, each stroke is all a part of His plan.  And it is beautiful.


His creation is a reflection of Him.


Time and time again, God has taken my "mess" and made it beautiful.  He always has, and always will.  And for that, I am forever thankful.






"The way I see it, its all beautiful.  Because in some way, the process of making a thing beautiful, is beautiful."

24 days

Half Full Bottles of Water

Today, Ryan moved into our new apartment!  Yeah!


Please don't ding dong ditch us.  


Ok, maybe ding dong ditch us if you are going to leave cookies or some sort of baked yumminess.  Otherwise the d3 is a tease and I hate teases.


After a long day at work and a long day of moving for him, we grabbed dinner at Counter Burger-total yum- and went and got him groceries. 


What?  You think I'm gonna let my man starve?


Speaking of my man starving, I have been mentally preparing how to cook for two, but really three because guys eat way more than girls.  But I'm pretty pumped for it because, let's be honest, cooking for one is the pits.  It's either hard, or annoying because you have left overs for the entire week-bfast lunch and dinner.  Unless you just LOOOOOOVE left overs.  In that case, more power to ya and where were you the last 4 years when I was cooking?  Answer: you should have been at my house, eating my potential left overs.


Back to Trader Joes-
So our checker mentioned his fiance and how she drinks half of her water bottles and leaves them all over the place...blah blah blah...to which Ryan sarcastically smiles over at me and says, "I dont know anyone who does that!"


Oh, excuuuuuuse me for hydrating myself...a little at a time....and leaving some for later!  Its a strategy, duh!


Anyway, we got on the subject of weddings and the guy said they hadn't set a date yet.  When he asked us when we were getting married, Ryan told him 25 days and his eyes about bugged out of his head.  "WOW!" He said.


"Wow!" like what?  WOW, like WOW thats amazing!  Good for you guys!


Or WOW you're outside of your minds crazy!


Or WOW! it took me 25 days to get through the entire first two seasons of Friday Night Lights?


It was the first one.


Here's the thing, Christian couples often get criticized because they choose to have short engagements.  Sometimes for the right reasons and sometimes for the wrong.  The definitions of "right" and "wrong" being all over the board.  


However you would define right and wrong, here are my thoughts: I know I love this man and I know I want to be married to him.  I'm not one to lolly gag around and dilly dally (my vocab is obviously extensive...and my vernacular, colorful!)  But seriously, what is there to wait for when you know? 


Yep!  We are choosing not to have sex (Oh no!  She said the "s" word and now I'm feeling all uncomfortable and my hands are getting clammy!)


We are choosing not to live together


and to the rest of society, that is a huge risk.  And a dumb risk at that. 


How will we know if we are able to live together?


How will we know if we are "compatible?"


If you sit and think about it long enough and choose to make that your mentality, then yeah, that's a whole lotta scary!


But here is what I do know:  Ryan and I love each other.  Yes, I know "love" is not the answer and will not fix every problem.  I am not dumb-let's make that very clear.  


Our love causes us to learn from each other and see what is in each other's best interest.  Do I have annoying habits?  Yes.  Will he annoy me by hanging his towel over the door or leaving the toilet seat up?  Probably.  Bottom line, I love Ryan and I am willing to love him through the annoyances, habits and all the other "things" we run into living together.  I know he will do the same for me.  I did it with at least 10 roommates before, I'm sure I can do it for the man I deeply love and want to spend the rest of my life with.


And sex...we don't need to talk about that.  Its inapprop in the wrong setting (this being one of them).  Bottom line is, I really don't believe in the whole "test driving the car before you buy it" thing.  Call me naiive, but I believe God has a better plan for me than that.  


25 days until I get my final roommate... 

and I get to leave all the 

half full bottles of water I want 

lying around the house!

muuuuuuahahahahaha!

Keys, Keys, Keys!

Today was a great day!  Here is why:


-I signed the lease to our new apartment
-We officially got our keys!
-We got to show my parents the "new digs"


and then I squealed with excitement...probably on four different occasions.




Oh, and you would think that I would be that cute person who takes a picture of our new keys and posts it (thank you for thinking so highly of me, if you do!) but I'm not.  


Between the squeals of excitement and Easter, life is way to busy for that nonsense!


For those of you who MUST have a pic, this is what they look like.

Pick one, any one.   

30 Days YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Three things you need to know:

1) 30 Days until I marry Ryan.  Hollerrrrrr

2) I love Kristen Wiig, I wish I was as funny as her.  I also wish she was in my circle of friends.

3) This video is hilarious and I believe Kristen Wiig accurately portrays my excitement for my upcoming nuptials.

Busy Bee

This last week has been busy.

This is me, the Busy Bee.

Easter is coming!  We have been preparing supplies and volunteers and more supplies to have Easter at the OC Fairgrounds.

You should come!  It's going to be awesome!

33 days

A Day Off

Today, I had a day off.  


It was a milestone for me in my "days off."  You might be asking, "Really, Natalie?  A Milestone in taking a day off?" Um, yes! 


Here's why it was a milestone for me.  


It was the first day off I have taken where:


-I didn't feel like I needed to be in the office, even though there was LOTS of work to do.
-I didn't feel stress from being out of the office with LOTS of work to do.
-I had full permission and protection of my day off from my boss
-Not once did I check my email to see if there was "something" I needed to take care of urgently
-I spent time supporting Ryan at his work.  I went and saw him at a track meet and brought him coffee and snacks.  ( I know, I know.  A simple applause would be the appropriate response.)


If it sounds crazy to you that these "normal" things occurred on my day of, you obviously haven't known me well in the last two years.  


Here's why:
To me, turning my brain off was not an option.  This caused me to be stressed, which caused me to want to be at work to get things done so that I wouldn't stress about them later.  If I chose to "try" and turn my brain off, not only would that not work but I would not be present wherever I was.  This caused distance in relationships and feelings of loneliness.  I also had a hard time learning to draw the line between "urgent" and "can wait until tomorrow and no one will die."


This day off was a gentle reminder to me of the healing God has done in my professional life.  


God is healer and I am forever thankful for that.

32 days.

Man, I Feel like a Woman!

Today was my "Woman's Shower" and it was very lovely!  All of my immediate family (mom and grandmas) and our family friends gathered and showered me with love.  I loved every second of it!  Even if I felt weird being the center of attention opening gifts.

My woman's shower was special to me for many reasons.  My mom and all three of my grandmothers hosted-so fun and so well planned!  Most of the women attending have been in my life since I was a little girl.  I'm fortunate to have these women in my life as I have learned so much from them.  Over the years, they have taught me what it means to be a friend, wife and a Christ-follower.  Directly and indirectly, they have taught me how to be a woman, and for that, I am very grateful!

Some of my favorite moments from the shower:

-My mom's precious toast

-Ryan's grandmother introduced herself saying, "I am Ryan's proud grandmother and I will say that he has made the right choice!"  Melt my heart!

-The rice and safety pin game...my mother in law beat the snot out of me on this game!

-Opening up gifts and some of the comments from the "racier" items.  Classic!

The weather was perfect, the venue was awesome, the food was delicious and the company was wonderful!

Bridesmaid Profile: Miss Caroline J. Rutenbar

Yesterday, I had the absolute JOY of hanging out with one of my friends and bridesmaids; the lovely and talented, Miss Caroline J. Rutenbar!  I can hear the roar of applause now!


While burning ourselves to a crisp sunning our skin , we caught up on life, ate Gushers (an all time favorite snack and NOT part of The Clean Program) and read Tina Fey's new book, Bossypants out loud to each other.  Out loud-like when your mom read to you before you fell asleep at night-out loud.  


This is why I love Caroline!  Caroline makes me feel like I am the funniest person on the planet, she is always up for an adventure and, at times is my partner in crime.  


Like when we had an incredibly long work day during The Bachelor Season (with Jake the pilot-ugh) and we took these gems...

 Tenley (please note Carol praying and me singing about rainbows and Carebears)

 Vienna (so realistic, right?)

  Gia (her lips were NOT real.  Fortunately, ours are.)

Caroline also is incredibly wise, thoughtful, loyal, trustworthy and caring.  She has an amazing way of making anyone feel comfortable and welcomed into any situation by diffusing nerves and asking questions that make you feel known by her.  The best part about it?  That's who Caroline is!  She doesn't have to try to be a safe harbor or good friend, she just is!


Carol and I have known each other dating back to the days of Saddleback where my dad was Saddleback Sam (from The Purpose Driven Church) 

and she dreamt about one day purchasing a denim jacket from the Saddleback Church Resource Table.  

Rumor has it, it ended up on her Christmas list one year.  

I was especially blessed in my two years of working with her at The Beach Pit BBQ.  We worked in close quarters the majority of the time, so when we needed a break from the everyday huslte and bustle, things like catching up on the Bachelor and 30 Rock would happen.  Amongst an exhaustive list of other things we entertained ourselves with: catching up on love lives, personal lives, creating different types of food tossing contests, etc.  


But I also learned a lot from Carol.  In the two years that we worked together, her heart and convictions shined through.  She told the truth when it was really hard, she stood up for herself even if it meant she sweated for two hours before AND after, she worked very hard and and chose joy-even when the situation didn't really call for it.

Together, we...

put on catering events for 1,300 people

opened a new restaurant in Orange

organized a Haiti Disaster Relief Fundraiser at three of our restaurants in under three days, planned a company Christmas party...the list goes on and on!

Oh yeah, and we played college volleyball together!  Totally not realted to Beach Pit, but a good part of our friendship!

Please direct your attention to the similarity in my face in box #1 and #4.  Also, please note that my favorite pic of Carol is box #4.

Awesome.

Do you see now why she is one of my bridesmaids?  Love her and am so thankful for her in my life!

Tighter Than the Pants on Will.I.Am

Snoop Dog's voice often irritates me, but his lyrics make me laugh sometimes...hence the title of today's post.  They're just SO ridiculous and the guy continues to make money!  Aiy Carumba!

Speaking of hip hop, I will be mastering the following dances in heels and a wedding dress.

Yes, I am!

[apologies ahead of time for any profanity or inappropriate gestures/behavior]

Ladies and Gents, I present to you:

The Dougie

The video teaches you how to do it, too.  You're welcome.

I actually prefer the Glee Version though

The Cat Daddy

The Bernie

Rumor has it, my M.O.H has mastered this

Ryan thinks he's all cool since the kids at work are teaching him how to Dougie.  Sure buddy, sure!  We will see who has the better moves in 37 days ; )


Speaking of high school kids, I walked by a table of them tonight at dinner and it made me miss my high school summer days...I was tan, in shape and got to go to the beach whenever I wasn't playing volleyball.  Grr.


So, in light of wanting to be tan and fit again, I think I'm going to jump on The Clean Program bus.  Pray for me and steer clear for 21 days.  I might be a grump.


I wonder if Dr. Alejandro does the Cat Daddy while he Dougies.  Hm.

Feasting

Yesterday, I had a brief moment of quiet time.  Here is what I took with me throughout my day:

For the despondent, every day brings trouble.

For the happy heart, life is like a continual feast.

Proverbs 15:15

It's funny (or is it?) I read this because a co-worker and I had been talking the day before about what was happening lately in our lives and the subject of the heart came up.  What is even more interesting, is that this has been something I had been thinking about all week.

Here is the question I have been asking myself:

Where is my heart when I am: disappointed, discouraged, joyful, encouraged, distracted, angry, worried, etc.

And more important, the follow up question is: what is my heart's condition and is it in the right place?

If not, how do I get it there?

Because ultimately, I want it to be in the right place.  I want my heart to be one that is pleasing to God.  I want to experience my life to the fullest, and choose to have a happy heart-amidst the disappointment, discouragement, joy... those are things that I will continually face in life.  It's about how I choose to face those situations that puts my heart in the right place.

For the despondent, every day brings trouble.

For the happy heart, life is like a continual feast.

Proverbs 15:15

Choose, this day, to take your seat at the feast.

A [Future] Husband's Perspective

"I guess you will allow for my creative side to come out tonight, since yours is LACKING!" -my future husband....


and without further adieu, my future husband will be composing creating today's post...  


Ryan: And I ask my fiance..."what the eff am I supposed to write about?" *Blank stare* 


So, I guess that gives me free reign to embarrass her how I see fit! :) Lets see, 39 days...well, first off, CRAZY. Second, let's do this thing already! 


For all you couples who pull off the long engagement, I tip my hat to you. This whole thing (while amazing) is tough! There's planning, and opinions, and dates, and opinions, and different color options, and then there's opinions. It's draining!! 


Someone very smart once told me, that a man gets married on the day he proposes, and a woman gets married on her wedding day! And its absolutely true. A guy has planned, processed, soul-searched, purchased expensive things, asked permission, surprised, and sat in desperate anticipation, all before popping the all important question. THEN the girls planning process starts... 


Natalie, while currently in the middle of that process, is nothing short of stunning. Lets be completely real for a second. If you are reading this blog, its because Natalie has touched your life in some special kind of way. Maybe you are someone she met at church, or at school, or a childhood friend. But whoever you are, you know how special her heart is. Thats what I love about her the most. She loves, she lives, and she is vibrant. She is someone that wants to go out and take on life, not let life just happen. Someone that looks at life through a different lens. This is what draws my soul to hers each and every day. 


I can't wait to start my life with her. Our wedding day is a symbol of everything we stand for, everything we were, everything we are, and everything we want to be. There are no delusions of a perfect life, nor some fantasy land thinking life is going to be easy. What there is, is dreams, and those dreams just became a little more real. We can't wait to fill in the blanks together. She is the most amazing woman in the world, and 39 days can't come fast enough. 

One Year Ago

One Year ago today, there was a boy and a girl.  They had gone on a handfull of dates, hung out a bunch and really liked each other.


And just when they had reached the point where they would DTR ("determine the relationship"-a long held BIOLA University tradition) the boy left for a trip to Europe.


He went to Europe in search of adventure and exploration with his friend Cam.  Cam is the coolest!

The girl missed him very much while he was gone!  She wanted him to explore and have fun, but they couldn't help but chat on Facebook when he could get service on his phone.

She was jealous he got to stare Nessy (the Loch Ness Monster) in the face.  

When the boy returned, he couldn't wait to see the girl!  You see, he had been wanting her to be his girlfriend, but didn't want to ask her before he left for Europe.  So he patiently waited....until April 12th and made it "official."


And that was the first time she said, "Yes! Of course I will!"  Little did she know that she would be saying "Yes!" to another very important question some time later.


And they will live happily ever after.  Rainbows.  Butterflies.  Glitter.  The end. 




Not really.


To celebrate one year, amidst planning a wedding, we went to Sabatino's (a cute little italian restaurant on the docks on Lido Island).  We talked about us, we dreamed about the future and talked about the reality of where we are today.


Life with Ryan has been incredible thus far.  Each day I learn more about him, more about myself and how to love him better.  While we have had our ups and downs, I can't imagine life any other way.  It excites me to think about living life together, and I look forward to spending the rest of my anniversaries with him.

40 days

Wedding Nightmares Part I

Twice now, I have had a nightmare specifically about my make up for my wedding.  

You might think its silly, and its ok because I do too.  But only after I wake up...

See, each time I have this dream -which feels like a nightmare- I have forgotten to schedule a make up artist and I don't realize it until the morning of my wedding.  This time, I was running around some large abandoned street in New York in the middle of the day in my wedding dress with my hair done and no make up on.  Just crying and crying holding my dress as I run.

What the heck?

Ultimately, I wake up and think to myself, "Man, I REALLY need to book a make up artist!"  

Here's the thing.  You might be thinking I'm a little silly for worrying about something like this, but this is what I'm afraid of looking like:

That's me on the right, and my maid of honor on the left 

AHHH!!  Spiders and caterpillar eyebrows?!  Two of the scariest things ever! 

What I really want is something like this:

 more natural, light and less "dramatic"

Those of you that have had your make up done professionally before may be reading this and saying, "Natalie!  Just schedule a trial with someone!  Duh!"  and to that I kindly reply, "I scheduled one trial, and it really wasn't my favorite.  So I'm trying again."

Ultimately, I know that if worse comes to worse, I could do my own make up and everything would be just fine.  But I just don't wanna!

I'm just anticipating the "first look" time Ryan and I will have on our wedding day and can't wait to see him then!  I want to look gooooood for my man.  I want him to look at me and say, "Dang Gina!  Who did your make up guuurl?!  You be lookin' so fly in that dress!  and your hair?  mmm mm mmm!"

Just kidding.  

But seriously, I want to look beautiful for him and I want him to remember what my face looked like and what my eyes said in that moment.  And it sure as heck ain't gonna be a drag queen face or scary spider eyes that he's looking into!

41 days and it won't even matter what my make up looks like...

unless I look like RuPaul and scare Ryan off forever.

Boxes

It feels like I just moved a couple of months ago...probably because six months ago I did!  I moved from my cute little house in the Orange Circle to my new apartment in Newport.  It blows my mind to think of how much has changed in just six months!  The week after Easter, Ryan will be moving into our new place.  At the end of next month, I will be living WITH Ryan in OUR place!


FACT:  I hate packing, but I love unpacking.  That being said, there are tons of half-packed boxes in  my room and around the house.  No fun.  Packing Fairy, where are you when I need you the most?

[shameless plug] We are selling LOTS of stuff-dressers, couches, tables, etc.  If you need it, holler at your girl.  Also, I have bags and bags of donations.  So, if you're having a garage sale for charity or anything like that, please let me know.  Otherwise Goodwill will be seeing a lot of me! [end shameless plug]

Onto the more FUN boxes...
Ryan and I came home from Mark and Kim's Wedding today and opened some of our presents that had been shipped in the mail.  I love opening presents and I love surprises, so you can imagine how hard it is for me to walk by all these boxes day in and day out.  It's like they're sitting on the ground and taunting me, "Neener, neener!" [Somehow] I convinced Ryan that we "needed" to open the presents coming in the mail so we could know what we do and don't have at the apartment when he moves and I could get a head start on Thank You notes (because Lord knows, I need a head start!).  Legitimate argument, right?  It worked ; )


We opened presents together and honestly, with each present I opened, I couldn't help but think, "Holy crap!  This is for us!  And we are going to use this [salad bowl, cheese board, etc.] in our home.  And better yet, we get to have friends over and open our home to people!"  That is one of the reasons I love Ryan - he is warm, friendly and makes everyone feel welcome who is in his presence.  He engages people, asks meaningful questions and actually cares about the people we come in contact with.  Ryan is a great friend and he's my best friend.  Cliche or not, it's true!


42 days:    I.  Can't.  Wait.